Communicating Authentically

One of my favorite shops, Olde Magick in Prescott, Ontario, recently posted this image on their Facebook page:

Seeing it was such a lovely affirmation that the way I’ve always been is exactly the way I want to be.

Release what no longer serves your greatest good. I’ve walked away from relationships that no longer served me, and never felt a minute’s worth of regret. For some, that may seem cold, but I can’t understand why anyone would stay in a relationship with someone who made them feel bad.

Always follow your gut feelings and intuition. Once I went on a blind date set up by a motherly coworker between me and her godson. He was good-looking, well-dressed, and seemed nice, but I knew immediately it wouldn’t work. It seemed rude to cancel the date thirty seconds after meeting him, and besides, I was raised to give people the benefit of the doubt. So I politely went on with the date, but when he aggressively tried to talk me into drinking alcohol, which I wasn’t about to do on a date with a stranger, he reacted petulantly to my refusal. That was it for me. I ended the date as early as possible and made excuses for why I couldn’t see him again. I later found out he had been arrested for sexual assault. My coworker/his godmother called it “date rape” and claimed it was a misunderstanding. Of course, I knew better. Gavin de Becker, in his book The Gift of Fear (which I cannot recommend enough), says “Intuition is always in response to something.” My intuition may have saved me from being raped that night.

Carry or wear crystals with protective properties. It’s called jewelry. Wear it because it means something or because makes you feel like a badass magical goddess, not just because it’s the latest trend or matches your outfit. (Although it’s a plus if it does match.)

Reserve your energy for the positive things in life. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve said, “I only have so much energy, and this is not what I’m going to spend it on.” I’ve learned that my moods are an indication of my perspective. Knowing this helps me focus my energy so much more effectively. Frustration, anger, irritation, etc. may seem like negativity, but they’re actually helpful signals that I need to take a step back and figure out what’s wrong. Do I need to ask for help? Do I need to speak up about an unfair situation, or am I just tired and/or hungry and need to go home? Using my moods as my alert system allows me to spend more energy on things that benefit me more.

Learn to say no and set boundaries. This has always been so important to me. Setting boundaries is vital, not just to protect your energy, but often to protect yourself and those you love. I believe in being there unconditionally for those I trust. But when people start to take advantage, that’s when I introduce some conditions and start using the magic word, “No.” It keeps things reciprocal and helps to prevent resentment and maintain respect. Boundary setting keeps relationships healthy. Robert Frost said it best: “Good fences make good neighbors.”

I’ve always been protective of my personal energy, and these are beliefs I’ve held for a long time. If they are examples of what witches believe, I’m starting to find that I’ve been a witch all along.