Everything I Need to Know in Life I Learned from a T-shirt
- I am the grammarian about whom your mother warned you.
- I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.
- Say “No” to negative thinking.
- Follow your dreams — except that one where you fly. That never ends well.
- Accounting is accrual profession.
- Cole’s law: thinly sliced cabbage
- Why must the chicken’s motives for crossing the road always be questioned?
- Sometimes I wonder…”Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?” Then it hits me.
- Root beer: a cruel, cruel hoax
- Being vague is as annoying as that other thing.
- My inner child thinks you’re a big poopy face.
- Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
- What I really need are minions.
- No one ever suspects the short ones.
- Some days, it’s not even worth chewing through the restraints.
Communicating Authentically 
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